Sunday, November 21, 2010

Enchanted - 11/21/10

'The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say,
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you'


Oh the fantasticness of Taylor Swift (: Country music is a blessing in disguise for me. Gets me through the tough times, which I am definitely going through at the moment |:

I feel so caught in between lately. Stuck between who I am and who I want to be. Im lost on the road of broken dreams and make believe. Ive been living in the moment so much lately, Im no longer able to legitimately picture a future for myself. And its scary, but its lovely at the same time because I almost feel free in a way. Im no longer making false perceptions of who I am and trying to become someone I picture myself as in 20 years. Im letting myself go and its suddenly become the cause of so much pain. Im torn...but I guess enough of this and time to catch up on 5 months of no posting! Haha :D

Ive Managed To Find Someone New -

|Jordan Michael Brown| ♥ 8.20.10 ♥

So Corey broke up with me in March, I let myself take 5 months off of boys to recooperate, and Ive found myself with Jordan. This kid has been there for me since day one. We've been friends for around 6 years; living in the same neighborhood does that to people it seems. And through 8th grade to 9th, he was on and off with a girl named Kayla who absolutely despises me. I dislike her; she controlled Jordan so he couldnt talk to any of his friends, including me at the time, she acted like she owned Jordan, controlling everything he did, and she also liked to talk bad about all his friends that were girls. Cool cool, Imma big girl, I can handle it. But I also told him that he should drop her. And eventually he did. And now he's with me; which even before Corey and kinda during, I wanted to happen. He's definitely not a favorite amongst my friends. After Kayla he kinda got rude to everyone. But he's good to me most times, so Im thankful. All couples have their bad times, but not all of them put as much effort into it like we do. Its pretty nice having someone to count on whenever I need them like that. Definitely a step up from Corey :D

Speaking Of Corey -

He's definitely in my French class. A period where I deal with him almost an hour everyday. And at the beginning it was all about ignoring him as much as possible. Now though, its actually turned into a nice friendship. It almost feels like we're going back to the best friends stuff that we used to have. And thats all Ive ever wanted. I think both of us have put our relationship behind us; pretending like it never happened. And on days I really think about it like that, I guess it hurts a little 'cause 8 months of our lives were wasted on each other. But its better this way. He has a new girlfriend now; not sure that'll really work out, but Ill hope for the best for him. I have Jordan, so its definitely safe to be friends. Theres absolutely no feelings left there, and if ever should he ask me to go back to him, theres no doubt in my mind that I would say no. For around 2 months after he broke my heart I tried to get him back. But now I see that our relationship wasn't a healthy one, and things are better off left as is. I just dunno why it took me so long for me to think about things this way. Being friends is a positive though; he hurt me, angered me, I moved on, and friendship is closure and the final step. And its all I can really ask for anymore. One more chapter in history that I'll never reread again; I promise this to all who worried for me through that phase in my life.

Im Moving On Up -

Im on my school newspaper staff, and I am the only sophomore who has a position of leadership as Opinion Page Editor. This is definitely a big confidence boost. I spent 5 days at Ball State this summer, and it was THE BEST time of my life, hands down. I wish I could go back to that week all the time. And while its never going to happen again, I can only take from that and build upon it. Aaaand, over the course of this 14 weeks, my adviser has made it blatantly clear that I will be editor-in-chief next year. And this excites me and it scares me. I want to go into reporting/journalism as my career field, going to college at Ball State to major in News and Magazine journalism is my current goal. So this is how it excites me; 'cause Im one step closer to my dream. But it scares me 'cause next year I will be the sole editor-in-chief. As a page editor Im already stressing alot, and we have TWO editor-in-chiefs. Which is what scares me. This is going to consume my life next year. And as bad as things are in Newspaper with two editors, Im going to be on my own dealing with this. I wish I could blame the editors for this chaos, but I really truly can't. All I can do is pray that once I take over, I can handle control of 15 or so other reporters/page editors/photographers. Only time will tell!

Speaking Of Next Year -

I scheduled my Junior year of high school and boy will it be chaotic! My schedule is as follows;

AP US History - 2 semesters
AP English Literature - 2 semesters
AP Biology - 2 semesters
Pre-Calculus Honors - 2 semesters
French 2 - 2 semesters
Newspaper - 2 semesters
Photography - 1 semester
Psychology - 1 semester

Three AP classes, Editor of the school newspaper, Honors math, Foreign language, && two freebie classes. Im gonna die, enough said =P


I think this is enough for a catch up post; or at least I hope it is.

Yours Truly,
Ry (:


T♥R said...

I really had her new cd on replay all night [I didn't sleep] then even after I "woke up" I still kept listening. Pretty sad how easy it is to relate to her.

Sadly, you talking about Jordan made me feel better about Jay. No one likes Jay either, so don't feel bad. They're all jealous. [haha] If you're happy - really happy this time - then I'm happy for you!

About Corey - I get how when you look at it as 8 months wasted, it does seem bad. That's really a long time. But don't try to think of it that way if you can. Think of it as 8 little months out of 80 years. =) lol I'm glad that things are going well as far as he goes, and I hope they stay well. It's good that you can get closure. I don't think I ever got real closure from any guy - but now I guess that Jay is my closure. But it still would have been nice. I'm glad you can have that. =)

Oh congrats Ry! That's really great. I'm sure you will be an excellent editor-in-chief. You're a strong girl, I know you can handle it. If it gets tough, just keep your eyes on your goal/dream and don't give up. Unless you change dreams; then there's no point bringing so much stress to yourself over it. But regardless, I know you'll be great.

Yick. Good luck with all that responsibility and work. Don't let it get to you, okay.

Well I hope you won't wait another 5 months before updating again. lol